The Soda Shop Miniature Vanilla on Vanilla

On another beautiful Sunday, my best cupcake-tasting posse and I embarked on another Cupcake Crawl, this time farther downtown. This time it was unfortunately hovering around 100 degrees and I promptly wanted to melt, so the lounging-in-the-park-with-

cupcakes experience was more sweaty and melty and sticky and thirsty than last time around. However, a good time was had by all, until we all wanted to die from a combination of heat and cupcake-overdosing, that is. Importantly, I should mention that before I transcribed my cupcake rankings onto the computer, I took notes by hand on SPECIAL CUPCAKE RANKING PADS that my best cupcake-tasting friends (Caryn, Lawrence and Justin, along with fellow friend and sometime-cupcake taster Mike) specially DESIGNED for me and gave me for my birthday, complete with a special Caryn-designed logo. I am going to scan some of the cupcake-tasting pad sheets and upload them in a future post! And now, the results of Cupcake Crawl #2!

The Soda Shop Miniature Vanilla Cupcake

Taste: The frosting is like pure butter, and the cake is sour and unpleasant. Eh... Overall Taste Rating: 0.75 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: SLIMY! This cupcake is so moist it is slimy!!* The frosting's texture is OK, a little hard. Overall Texture Rating: 0.75 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: Its miniature, its cute, it won me over with its teensy weensy itsy bitsy cuteness. And look at that beautifully swirled dollop of frosting!! It looked so adorable! Overall Aesthetic Rating: 4.25 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: Not satisfied. Better to look at than to eat! Next cupcake, please! Overall Satisfaction Rating: 1 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 6.75 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

*I would like to note that the cupcakes were retrieved from us from a back room, rather than a display case, and felt cold. While on a hot day a cold treat was appealing, a cold cupcake is not customary nor advisable. I suspect that some of the unfortunate texture issues related to the Soda Shop cupcakes resulted from erroneous refrigeration on the part of the store. I am not sure whether such refrigeration is customary or was a result of the extremely hot August day, but as any cupcake expert is aware, buttercream should NEVER be refrigerated! The refrigeration may have also added to the slimy, clammy texture of the cake. I'm not positive the refrigeration occurred or resulted in the bad texture, but I have my suspicions.

The Soda Shop Coconut Cupcake

On another beautiful Sunday, my best cupcake-tasting posse and I embarked on another Cupcake Crawl, this time farther downtown. This time it was unfortunately hovering around 100 degrees and I promptly wanted to melt, so the lounging-in-the-park-with-

cupcakes experience was more sweaty and melty and sticky and thirsty than last time around. However, a good time was had by all, until we all wanted to die from a combination of heat and cupcake-overdosing, that is. Importantly, I should mention that before I transcribed my cupcake rankings onto the computer, I took notes by hand on SPECIAL CUPCAKE RANKING PADS that my best cupcake-tasting friends (Caryn, Lawrence and Justin, along with fellow friend and sometime-cupcake taster Mike) specially DESIGNED for me and gave me for my birthday, complete with a special Caryn-designed logo. I am going to scan some of the cupcake-tasting pad sheets and upload them in a future post! And now, the results of Cupcake Crawl #2!

The Soda Shop Coconut Cupcake

Taste: The frosting is sweet and strongly flavored with coconut, and its refreshing and sweet, quite lovely really. The cake however is sour and unpleasant, reminiscent of Tonnie's Minis. Overall Taste Rating: 2.25 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: The icing has a nice smooth texture, and the real shredded coconut on top adds a chewiness and authenticity, but the ultra-moist cake is too moist so that is actually slimy and wet and gross. Overall Texture Rating: 1 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: I like the advertisement of the coconut flavor in the form of shredded coconut on top, but this is not a particularly artful or beautiful cupcake, although not heinously ugly either. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 2.75 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: I really liked the coconut frosting on this, if they had gotten the cake right we really would have had a decent cupcake.* A shame... Overall Satisfaction Rating: 2.5 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 8.5 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

*I would like to note that the cupcakes were retrieved from us from a back room, rather than a display case, and felt cold. While on a hot day a cold treat was appealing, a cold cupcake is not customary nor advisable. I suspect that some of the unfortunate texture issues related to the Soda Shop cupcakes resulted from erroneous refrigeration on the part of the store. I am not sure whether such refrigeration is customary or was a result of the extremely hot August day, but as any cupcake expert is aware, buttercream should NEVER be refrigerated! The refrigeration may have also added to the slimy, clammy texture of the cake. I'm not positive the refrigeration occurred or resulted in the bad texture, but I have my suspicions.

The Soda Shop Strawberry Frosted Vanilla Cake

On another beautiful Sunday, my best cupcake-tasting posse and I embarked on another Cupcake Crawl, this time farther downtown. This time it was unfortunately hovering around 100 degrees and I promptly wanted to melt, so the lounging-in-the-park-with-

cupcakes experience was more sweaty and melty and sticky and thirsty than last time around. However, a good time was had by all, until we all wanted to die from a combination of heat and cupcake-overdosing, that is. Importantly, I should mention that before I transcribed my cupcake rankings onto the computer, I took notes by hand on SPECIAL CUPCAKE RANKING PADS that my best cupcake-tasting friends (Caryn, Lawrence and Justin, along with fellow friend and sometime-cupcake taster Mike) specially DESIGNED for me and gave me for my birthday, complete with a special Caryn-designed logo. I am going to scan some of the cupcake-tasting pad sheets and upload them in a future post! And now, the results of Cupcake Crawl #2!

Strawberry Frosting on Vanilla Cake from the Soda Shop

Taste: Ahhhh! My mouth, ahhh, stop! The frosting tastes like butter and artificial strawberry flavoring and makes me want to gag. The cake is even worse, and has a sour, unpleasant taste that is hard to put my finger on, but it reminds me of Tonnie's Minis. Ack! Overall Taste Rating: 1.25 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: EW EW EW, the cake is SO moist that it's wet, clammy, SLIMY, not cake-like, like some sort of cold, bastardized bread pudding mush, this is just WRONG, its like someone poured water or milk all over the cake and made it into a sopping, slimy heap. The frosting is ultra-dense. Overall Texture Rating: 0.25 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: The beautiful pale pink frosting swirled in the shape of a rose is what attracted me tot hos cupcake-- look how gorgeous the aerial view of the frosting swirl is! Doesn't it just look like it would taste SO GOOD?!??! It didn't, looks were deceiving, but the aesthetics were exellent. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 4.75 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: I am completely grossed out, but it sure was pretty to look at.* Overall Satisfaction Rating: 1.5 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 7.75 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

*I would like to note that the cupcakes were retrieved from us from a back room, rather than a display case, and felt cold. While on a hot day a cold treat was appealing, a cold cupcake is not customary nor advisable. I suspect that some of the unfortunate texture issues related to the Soda Shop cupcakes resulted from erroneous refrigeration on the part of the store. I am not sure whether such refrigeration is customary or was a result of the extremely hot August day, but as any cupcake expert is aware, buttercream should NEVER be refrigerated! The refrigeration may have also added to the slimy, clammy texture of the cake. I'm not positive the refrigeration occurred or resulted in the bad texture, but I have my suspicions.

Kitchenette Hostess Style Cupcake

On another beautiful Sunday, my best cupcake-tasting posse and I embarked on another Cupcake Crawl, this time farther downtown. This time it was unfortunately hovering around 100 degrees and I promptly wanted to melt, so the lounging-in-the-park-with-

cupcakes experience was more sweaty and melty and sticky and thirsty than last time around. However, a good time was had by all, until we all wanted to die from a combination of heat and cupcake-overdosing, that is. Importantly, I should mention that before I transcribed my cupcake rankings onto the computer, I took notes by hand on SPECIAL CUPCAKE RANKING PADS that my best cupcake-tasting friends (Caryn, Lawrence and Justin, along with fellow friend and sometime-cupcake taster Mike) specially DESIGNED for me and gave me for my birthday, complete with a special Caryn-designed logo. I am going to scan some of the cupcake-tasting pad sheets and upload them in a future post! And now, the results of Cupcake Crawl #2!

Hostess-Style Cupcake from Kitchenette

Taste: Ick. The cake is bland, the cream filling is utterly tasteless with not a trace of sweetness, and the rich bittersweet chocolate topping is the only dominant flavor. This cupcake has no sweetness whatsoever. Overall Taste Rating: 0.5 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: The cake has a medium texture, the cream filling inside is ultra-dense and not at all fluffy, and the layer of chocolate on top is fudgy and thick. Overall Texture Rating: 2.75 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: It looked so homemade and mouthwatering!! All the cupcakes lined up in the case at Kitchenette called out to me and looked so tempting and delectable! Oh, how deceptive looks can be! I found this cupcake so attractive from the outside!! Overall Aesthetic Rating: 4 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: What a boring, inferior Hostess-style cupcake. Blah. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 1 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 8.25 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Kitchenette Vanilla Hostess Style Cupcake

On another beautiful Sunday, my best cupcake-tasting posse and I embarked on another Cupcake Crawl, this time farther downtown. This time it was unfortunately hovering around 100 degrees and I promptly wanted to melt, so the lounging-in-the-park-with-

cupcakes experience was more sweaty and melty and sticky and thirsty than last time around. However, a good time was had by all, until we all wanted to die from a combination of heat and cupcake-overdosing, that is. Importantly, I should mention that before I transcribed my cupcake rankings onto the computer, I took notes by hand on SPECIAL CUPCAKE RANKING PADS that my best cupcake-tasting friends (Caryn, Lawrence and Justin, along with fellow friend and sometime-cupcake taster Mike) specially DESIGNED for me and gave me for my birthday, complete with a special Caryn-designed logo. I am going to scan some of the cupcake-tasting pad sheets and upload them in a future post! And now, the results of Cupcake Crawl #2!

Vanilla Hostess-Style Cupcake from Kitchenette

Taste: The vanilla frosting is lightly sweet and is winning me over. The cake tastes like a pound cake, rich and buttery but enjoyable. The cream filling in the center is tasteless and adds nothing-- I want more of the very sweet icing on the pound cake, though! Overall Taste Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: The cake is very dense but moist-- like a pound cake. The cream filling inside is very dense and I think is adding moisture to the cake itself. The frosting on top is thin and sugary. Overall Texture Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: The aesthetic is largely why this cupcake appealed to me-- it looked truly homemade, not mass-produced, it was large with a fun pink colored swirl across the top, and the cake had a nice white color with a fluffy look to it. It looked better than it tasted, to be honest! Overall Aesthetic Rating: 4 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: The best of the cupcakes from Kitchenette that I tasted, for sure, and I liked the originality of a Hostess-Style vanilla cupcake. But, could definitely be improved upon-- that cream filling should be light and creamy and sweet, not dense and tasteless!!! Overall Satisfaction Rating: 3.25 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 14.25 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

One Girl Cookies Chocolate on Vanilla Sold by the Street Sweets Truck

Chocolate Frosting on Vanilla Cake from the Street Sweets Truck, www.streetsweetsny.com, which sells cupcakes from One Girl Cookies, http://www.onegirlcookies.com/

Yet another dessert-centric mobile food truck in NYC! Unlike the CupcakeStop, this truck is not cupcake-exclusive, and they don't sell their own brand cupcakes-- they sell One Girl Cookies cupcakes. So, this review is of One Girl Cookies cupcakes, but since the StreetSweets Truck doesn't sell any other cupcake brands, this is the deal for purchases from StreetSweets.

Taste: The frosting takes exactly like milk chocolate fudge. There is no other way to describe it than purely fudgy. The vanilla cake is not capable of stand-alone enjoyment... it has a slightly sour flavor to it, and other than that, no particular flavors to note. Eaten together, the cake tempers the richness of the fudge-- slightly. The fudge completely overpowers everything. This is very rich and, for me, not quite satisfying that cupcake sweettooth. Overall Taste Rating: 3 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: The chocolate frosting is SO THICK. Like, so thick it tastes and feels like FUDGE. In a blind taste test, I would absolutely mistake the frosting for fudge. The vanilla cake is dense and has a medium texture-- not moist but not dry either. I think the cake is so dense and the fudge so thick that this cupcake is too rich and heavy to enjoy. This is not a delicate, melt-in-your-mouth cupcake-- everything about it is HEAVY. Overall Texture Rating: 1 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: This is a funny, spiky sort of cupcake-- it reminds me of the way some guys gel their hair into hardened little tufts. The cupcake wrapper is unique, with a circular ribbed paper wrapper inside, but a square-with-rounded-edges cardboard border around it-- very different. Kind of weird looking, but kind of cool. Very distinctive. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 3 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: This cake is just all about chocolate FUDGE. Let me be clear, I mean FUDGE, like brick-of-fudge fudge, fudge you get at the boardwalk or in an old country general store. Some cakes or brownies or frostings are fudgy, as in having fudge-like qualities, which is generally an excellent accolade. I am not penalizing this cupcake for being fudgy, because it is not fudgy, it is FUDGE. As in, the "frosting" is like pure, unadultered fudge. I'm not talking ice cream sundae hot fudge, I mean like brick-of-fudge, comes-in-many-flavors fudge. And I like fudge-- truly, I enjoy a good piece of fudge-- but fudge is so rich that fudge is a stand-alone item. Fudge is best enjoyed with a beverage to temper the richness, but fudge is not an appropriate topping for cakes or other sweets of any kind. Between the rich taste and the thick, dense texture, is just overkill. It doesn't work on a cupcake. It's just not doing it for me. Points though for the fact that, as fudge, the "frosting" is quite a tasty milk chocolate fudge. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 2.75 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 9.75 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Tonnie's Minis Vanilla on Vanilla

Tonnie's Minis Vanilla on Vanilla, http://www.tonniesminis.com/

On a gorgeous summer Sunday afternoon, I went for a "cupcake crawl" in downtown Manhattan with my best cupcake tasing buddies, Caryn of Carebear's Kitchen, and Lawrence and Justin from My Two Nuts. Caryn recapped our day of adventure fantastically at her Caryn's 101 Things blog. We had an amazing afternoon of strolling, enjoying wonderful weather, hanging out in the park, and most importantly sharing many delicious cupcakes! This was one of the cupcakes that was a product of our first NYC cupcake crawl!

Taste: The frosting is sweet, but the cake is slightly sour, like spoiled milk-- it's gross, with a bad aftertaste. Ick. Overall Taste Rating: 1.5 out of 5 Sprinkles.

Texture: The cake is moist. The frosting texture is very thin, not very substantial. Overall Texture Rating: 3 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: You might be asking yourself why this cupcake isn't mini, when the venue is called Tonnie's MINIS. I asked myself the same question. Every cupcake being sold at Tonnie's minis was full size. I inquired and was told they were "out" of minis. A strange thing to happen to a store that names itself Tonnie's MINIs. There were no minis to be had. For a full size cupcake it's okay looking, it has an appealing homemade quality to it. I love the swirl application on the frosting, the rainbow sprinkles are super pretty, and the icing is applied generously. The cupcake beckoned to me from the display case at the store and I was really wooed by the aesthetic. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: The bad cake taste killed this cupcake for me. I also need to add that the VENUE from which these cupcakes were purchased, which was the one and only Tonnie's Minis location, the flagship, the hub, the epicenter of Tonnie's Minis-- and it was one of the dirtiest and sketchiest looking places I've ever been, and hands down the shadiest place from which I have ever purchased a cupcake. Most cupcakeries and bakeries in general are clean, for starters, and usually staffed by friendly people and perhaps decorated with some air of cuteness or charm. Some cupcakeries are quaint, some are trendy, some are whimsical, some are elegant, some are geared for kids while others have a hipster vibe.... But this is the first cupcake venue I have ever been to that was SHADY. The picture on their website makes it look deceptively cute, but in real life those cute orange high pod chairs and pretty tiered cupcake stand are nowhere to be found-- the real life venue contained a folding table and folding chairs where those trendy elements are in the picture. I felt like I had entered the shady underbelly of the cupcake world. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 1 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 10 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Buttercup Lemon Cupcake

Buttercup Bake Shop Lemon Cupcake, http://www.buttercupbakeshop.com/

Taste: I LOVE lemon, but this was awful-- my mouth puckered up at the strong artificial lemon flavor in the frosting-- have you ever had a Warhead candy? That level of sour-- and the sourness was so overpowering that even the confectioner's sugar didn't add a sweetness, but the whole sugar/super sour combination made me almost choke. The cake was advertised as a lemon cake, but I didn't taste any lemon at all in the cake, just a plain, boring, near-tasteless golden cake. Overall Taste Rating: 1 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: The frosting is dense and a little chalky. The cake is a little bit dry. Blech. Overall Texture Rating: 2 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: The artificial fluorescent yellow color borders on frightening. The amount of color dye that must be in there frightens me. It looks to me a little bit like Elroy Jetson's cartoon hair. I guess it's proportionate and festive, but... I'm not impressed. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 2.75 out of 5 Sprinkles.

Satisfaction: A VERY disappointing cupcake for a lemon-lover such as myself. I'm an extreme lemon cake lover-- when I was a little girl, I used to always ask for a lemon flavored birthday cake, which was not especially popular amongst the majority of children attending my birthday parties, but I absolutely loved. I also had a deep childhood love of Freihofer's Lemon Cupcakes, which I have not been able to find since my childhood, but were boxed Freihofer's cupcakes with lemon frosting, vanilla cake, and a lemon curd filling inside the center of the cupcake. They were the best, though I believe they were discontinued decades ago. And I'm obessed with the Lemon Cake at Del Frisco's Steakhouse, which is always available though not always listed on the dessert menu-- if you're ever there, definitely ask for it, it's outrageously good. Anyway, I LOVE lemon cake, and this was awful, absolutely awful. This is NOT the place to find a good lemon cupcake. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 0 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 5.75 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Buttercup Sour Cream Spice Cupcake

Buttercup Bake Shop Sour Cream Spice Cupcake, buttercupbakeshop.com

Taste: The cream cheese frosting is tasty-- nice and cream chees-y and sweet at the same time. I guess the sour cream must be baked into the cake, but I can't taste it anywhere, and it's definitely not in the frosting. The cake flavors are very mild-- the spices are light, and the walnuts and raisins baked throughout add some flavor, but this isn't a particularly rich or flavorful or sweet cake. The frosting is good, but the cake leaves a lot to be desired. Overall Taste Rating: 3 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: STALE is the texture on this cake! SO stale that this bakery should be ashamed to have even sold it to me. The texture of the cake is stale with chunks in it, as there are walnuts and raisins dispersed throughout. The cream cheese frosting is smooth and creamy though. Overall Texture Rating: 0.5 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: This cupcake is fairly attractive-- the icing has a nice swirl, with a dusting of crumbs and walnuts on top, and the proportions are good. It's not the neatest presentation, nor does it have any special decorations to make the cupcakes extra-attractive. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 3 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: This cupcake was so stale that it was hard to enjoy. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 2 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 8.5 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Flour & Sun Bakery Vanilla on Vanilla

Vanilla on Vanilla, Flour & Sun Bakery, Pleasantville, NY, http://www.flourandsunbakery.com/, $2.75 each

Taste: The icing is like a mouthful of confectioner's sugar! Imagine eating a spoonful of confectioner's sugar and wanting to gag from the untempered sweetness, and that's what this icing tastes like. The cake is bland and doesn't have much flavor. Very disappointing. Overall Taste Rating: 2 out of 5 Sprinkles

Texture: The frosting is a little bit chalky, like too much powdered sugar and not enough other ingredients to balance it out. The cake is a little dry. Overall Texture Rating: 2 out of 5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: This cupcake tried-- the icing is a pure white (all that powdered sugar!) and the ring of rainbow sprinkles is a nice, festive idea-- but as you can see, its lopsided, uneven, unattractive, and the top of the frosting is hardened and cracked and uneven. Not very pretty. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 2 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: VERY disappointing. When I went to the Sun & Flour bakery, I was so excited and had read about their menu of fun flavors and looked forward to trying them, but when I got to the bakery they only had about five flavors available-- the standard combinations of chocolate and vanilla, the red velvet, and the lemon poppy. I wish I could have tried some of the more fun flavors the menu claims they have! But it appears they only offer a small selection each day. The vanilla on vanilla was a big letdown. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 1 out of 5 Sprinkles

Overall Satisfaction Rating: 7 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Two Little Red Hens White Frosting on Chocolate Cake

Two Little Red Hens White Frosting on Chocolate Cake, http://www.twolittleredhens.com, $3.95 from Food Emporium

Taste: The white frosting is strange-- I don't think it's buttercream, nor is it vanilla, it tastes very plain and actually tastes sort of like unsweetened whipped cream. Definitely NOT sweet enough for me, I am not a huge fan. The little sprinkles on top add some much needed sweetness, but the frosting should really be coated in them instead of only topped with a few. The chocolate cake taste is okay-- boring though, not very sweet, not very flavorful at all. This is a sadly flavorless cupcake all around. And ick, with a slightly bitter aftertaste to the cake, I'm now discovering. Two Little Red Hens should stick to their delicious cream cheese frosting! Overall Taste Rating: 1 out of 5 sprinkles

Texture: The icing might be tasteless, but it's fluffy and light and perfectly smooth. The cake is lacking in taste as well, but the texture is OK-- in the center not very moist but not really dry either, very medium, although it's too dry around the edges. Overall Texture Rating: 2.5 out of 5 sprinkles

Aesthetic: This cupcake is a nice size, and very symmetrical and even, with a nicely swirled icing application. However, from looking at the cupcake, it wasn't making my mouth water-- it didn't look like fresh baked deliciousness-- in fact, it closely resembled the look of a packaged storebought cupcake. Despite the aesthetic precision, looking at the cupcake doesn't evoke drool over it. It doesn't look fresh baked, and something about the frosting looks very artificial to me. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 3 out of 5 sprinkles

Satisfaction: Kind of a bummer on this cupcake after how much I loved the Two Little Red Hens Red Velvet! I was very disappointed. And especially for $3.95, on the higher end of cupcake pricing, I was bummed this cupcake was easy to toss into the garbage. Not very satisfying at all! Overall Satisfaction Rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 8.5 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Sage (sold by Dean & DeLuca) Carrot Cake Cupcake

Sage Carrot Cake Cupcake from Dean & DeLuca, $5, http://www.sagegeneralstore.com/ and http://www.deandeluca.com

Taste: This is a very cream-cheese-y cream cheese frosting, not as sweet and delicious as the Two Little Red Hens creamcheese frosting, but still decent. The cake taste is abysmal though-- it's essentially flavorless with a hint of nutmeg. It's not sweet at all, doesn't taste like the chock full of brown sugary goodness that a delicious carrot cake should taste like, this cake is totally lacking in flavor except the hint of nutmeg I mentioned, and I can't even taste any carrots! The icing is way better than the cake. Eating the icing and the cake together, the cake is just a vehicle with which the icing can be enjoyed, and together with the icing its not bad. Overall Taste Rating: 2.5 Sprinkles

Texture: The icing is a little crunchy and hardened on the outside, but smooth on the inside, although the crunchiness of the outside layer doesn't dissipate in my mouth and is a little odd. The carrot cake texture is okay, a little dry, nothing great but not horribly offensive. However, "not horribly offensive" is not exactly a glowing accolade. Overall Texture Rating: 2.5 Sprinkles

Aesthetic: This is a pretty big cupcake, even in height and width, with the icing a bit sloppily applied, and a cute but uneven smattering of something on the top, I think cake crumbs. Not super pretty, unfortunately. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles

Satisfaction: This was pretty unsatisfying-- a whopping $5 expense, for something I threw away most of in disgust as opposed to in self-restraint, and nothing in this cupcake was really up to par. The icing was the highlight, but still not stellar on the cream cheese frosting rating scale. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 2.5 out of 5 sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 9.5 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Kyotofu Coconut-Shiso Mini Cupcake

Kyotofu Mini Coconut-Shiso Cupcake, about $1.08 (3 for $3.25), http://www.kyotofu-nyc.com/, 9th Ave and 48th Street

Taste: The taste is similar to a coconut macaroon, but with an extra kick from the shiso herbs that are baked in-- the shiso herbs are strong, sort of like mint or basil-- the tastes are complex but not unpleasant. It's intriguing, and very savory-- it might be really good as a bread, but it's not at all like a cupcake, much more savory than sweet. It's interesting, though, and innovative. Overall Taste Rating: 3 out of 5 sprinkles.

Texture: Dry, chewy, reminds me of a lot of a coconut macaroon... not optimal for a cupcake. Overall Texture Rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles.

Aesthetic: Cute for its miniatureness, but otherwise, pretty ugly... unadorned, unfrosted, lopsided... Overall Aesthetic Rating: 1 out of 5 sprinkles

Satisfaction: I was glad I tried something with such a unique flavor, and it really was interesting, and I was glad to have tried it. But, it's not something that will satisfy a cupcake craving, and it's not something I'd purchase again. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles.

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 8 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Kyotofu Green Tea Mini Cupcake

Kyotofu Mini Green Tea Cupcake, about $1.08 (3 for $3.25), http://www.kyotofu-nyc.com/, 9th Ave and 48th Street

So, in my book, a cupcake without any sort of frosting isn't really a cupcake at all-- it's either a muffin, or a loaf cake, or a souffle, but not a cupcake-- but since Kyotofu brands and markets their frosting-less cupcakes as "cupcakes," they have consented to the jurisdiction of CupcakeRankings.com and it is my duty to sample them. It should also be noted that I'm a person who loves green tea, though I've never had a green tea baked good before.

Taste: This tastes like a muffin. It's not sweet enough to be a cupcake or a cake. The green tea adds complexity to the otherwise bland taste, but it's unpleasant and doesn't work well for a sweet. It has a slightly bitter aftertaste. Overall Taste Rating: 1 out of 5 sprinkles

Texture: Very moist and slightly chewy. Overall Texture Rating: 3 out of 5 sprinkles.

Aesthetic: This is one ugly "cupcake" with its bright green hue and uneven brown icing-less top. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 0 out of 5 sprinkles.

Satisfaction: This was totally gross. I love green tea, but I'll stick with drinking it in liquid form, not in baked good form. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 1 out of 5 sprinkles.

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 5 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Kyotofu Mini Chocolate Souffle Cupcake

Kyotofu Mini Chocolate Souffle Cupcake, about $1.08 (3 for $3.25), http://www.kyotofu-nyc.com/, 9th Ave and 48th Street

So, in my book, a cupcake without any sort of frosting isn't really a cupcake at all-- it's either a muffin, or a loaf cake, or a souffle, but not a cupcake-- but since Kyotofu brands and markets their frosting-less cupcakes as "cupcakes," they have consented to the jurisdiction of CupcakeRankings.com and it is my duty to sample them.

Taste: So there's no frosting, just cake, and it doesn't even taste like cake-- it tastes just like a brownie. Very rich, very chocolatey, tastes excellent for a brownie, but tastes nothing like a cupcake! Overall Taste Rating: 3 out of 5 sprinkles.

Texture: Moist, chewy, gooey, fudgy, rich, dense-- texture is just like a brownie. The texture is perfect for a brownie, but not for a cupcake! Overall Texture Rating: 3 out of 5 sprinkles.

Aesthetic: Kind of ugly!! No frosting, a little lopsided, cute in its miniatureness, but not the sort of pretty thing that jumps out at you for its aesthetic beauty and would look beautiful to serve for a special occasion. 1 out of 5 sprinkles.

Satisfaction: If I were rating brownies or souffles, I might rate this high. But this had nothing to do with cupcakes at all! They advertise that New York magazine voted this New York's #1 cupcake, but I'm not really sure how they came to that conclusion, because it's really not even a cupcake at all, its a brownie baked into a cupcake lining! I vote this a complete fraud! 1 out of 5 sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 8 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Zaro's Boston Cream Cupcake

Zaro's Bread Basket Boston Cream Cupcake, $2.95, Grand Central Terminal, http://www.zaro.com/

I love Boston Cream pie, I love Boston Cream donuts, but how would I enjoy a Boston Cream cupcake? This is my first one ever, and although I did not enjoy it, I blame the cupcake itself more than the concept-- I think Boston Cream cupcakes can be delicious if well executed, and I'll make it a personal goal to find a good one and let you know where to find it!

Taste: The chocolate icing on top is not at all sweet, but is richly chocolatey, though tastes like dark chocolate which is not typical for boston cream. The custard inside is lightly sweet and egg-y, and has a good taste for boston cream filling, a traditional custard taste that is just right and similar to tastes I've experienced in boston cream pies-- The taste of the cream filling is truly delicious, although unfortunately its awful texture ruins it (see below), but on pure taste alone, excellent custard. The cupcake taste is pretty good too-- yellow cake, slightly sweet but not too sweet, a nice complement to the custard inside. Overall Taste Rating: 4 out of 5 sprinkles

Texture: OK, the texture is this cupcake is just BIZARRE! The cake is a little dry, which isn't the craziest thing in the world, but the icing and the custard are RUBBERY. The cream is gelatinous, and when pulled on with a fork does not break and stays firmly together when pulled on, stretching like a rubber band! The texture is so weird and creepy and is grossing me out!! The chocolate icing on top also sticks together and comes off in one piece when tugged at with a fork, but in a less gross way-- the top frosting is similar to the texture of the type of frosting on top of a black & white cookie, thick and fudgy. But the texture of the custard filling is seriously revolting, custards should not be gelatinous and rubbery all at the same time. Gross! Overall Texture Rating: 0 out of 5 sprinkles

Aesthetic: The aerial view of this cupcake is nice, a layer of smooth dark colored chocolate frosting with pretty white stripes marbling the top. From the side, the appears the chocolate frosting is atop puff pastry that sits like a lid atop of the custard frosting, revealing the cream inside. It's not perfectly symmetrical or precise, but it is charming enough. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 3 out of 5 Sprinkles

Satisfaction: Although I was impressed with the custard taste (and the custard quantity was generous, because in addition to the middle being filled with custard inside, there was also a thick layer of custard directly below the chocolate frosting layer and on top of the cake), the texture of this cupcake was seriously GROSS, mostly the texture of the custard. I could pick up the entire layer of custard on my fork and it just dangled there in one solid piece and jiggled. It was disgusting. And doesn't custard need to be refrigerated? This cupcake was definitely not refrigerated, I hope I don't get sick from this. The texture was seriously problematic. Please see below for a photo of the custard dangling from my fork after I pulled on it to break it apart and it refused to budge but instead stretched out like a rubberband:


As you can see, it dangles from my fork in a congealed mass. And although the photo doesn't reveal it, the consistency was rubbery. Custard should not behave in such ways!!! Overall Satisfaction Rating: 0 out of 5 sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: Sprinkles (7 out of 20 possible)

Sage (sold by Dean & DeLuca) Hostess Style Chocolate Cupcake

Sage Hostess-Style Cupcake from Dean & DeLuca, $5.00,
http://www.sagegeneralstore.com/ and http://www.deandeluca.com

I have an amazing recipe that I use to make delicious Hostess-style filled cupcakes at home, so I don't usually buy them elsewhere because few cupcakes can live up to my home-baked ones, but as the Cupcake Connoisseur it is my duty to sample what else is out there! So, I tried this Hostess-style cupcake from Sage.

Taste: The chocolate icing is bitter, and not sweet at all, although probably made with real bittersweet chocolate and not cocoa powder, judging by the taste. The cake is also slightly bitter and has not the slightest hint of sweetness and barely any chocolatey taste. The vanilla cream inside the cupcake is bland and not tasty-- it's the same white cream as in the zig-zag on top of the cupcake, and its somewhat tasteless and gritty. A Hostess style cupcake isn't meant to be super sweet, and my personal chocolate icing recipe does use real bittersweet chocolate, but my vanilla cream filling is really sweet and so together they strike a nice balance. In contrast, the Sage cupcake has bittersweet icing, bitter cake, and tasteless cream filling, and so together there's no sweetness to the cupcake. Blech! Overall Taste Rating: 0 out of 5 sprinkles

Texture: The cake texture is dry, not at all moist like the Sage Vanilla Cupcake, but instead very dry and maybe even a bit stale. The chocolate icing has a good texture despite the bad taste, very smooth and silky on my tongue. There is barely ANY vanilla cream filling in the middle of the cupcake, and the filling (which is also the zigzag on top) is VERY gritty. Blech! Overall Texture Rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles

Aesthetic: Aesthetics is the only place this cupcake is going to win any major points with me. It's bigger than the traditional commercial Hostess cupcakes, with dark chocolatey colored cake and rich, glossy dark chocolate colored frosting, and a cute white zig-zag across the top, albeit sloppily applied, but the cupcake has that appealing homemade look as opposed to the from-the-box mass-produced look. The exterior appearance of this cupcake is what compelled me to buy it in the first place! Overall Aesthetic Rating: 4 out of 5 sprinkles!

Satisfaction: In addition to the fact that this cupcake didn't taste very good and had a bad texture, there was barely ANY chocolate icing on the top, although I can accept the fact that a Hostess cupcake by design only has a thin layer of icing across the top. BUT, what is unforgiveable is that there was hardly ANY cream filling inside the cupcake! And topped off by the racket price of $5.00 for this abomination of a cupcake, my satisfaction was practically negative! Overall Satisfaction Rating: 0 out of 5 sprinkles

Overall Cupcake Ranking: 6 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Buttercup Bake Shop Chocolate Frosting on Vanilla Cake

Buttercup Bake Shop Chocolate Frosting on Vanilla Cake

buttercupbakeshop.com, $2.25 each

Taste: The frosting is very cocoa powdery and very buttery, and not as sweet as Magnolia or Crumbs' chocolate frosting, and tastes less like real chocolate. The cake was unremarkable, not possessed of any distinct flavors but not unpleasant... not particularly sweet. The frosting and cake together are not sweet enough for me-- it tastes too much of unsweetened cocoa powder and butter. Overall Taste Rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles.

Texture: Happily, the frosting's texture is very smooth and buttery. The cake's texture was also not particularly good or bad-- not moist but not dry, somewhere in between, but generally unremarkable. Overall Texture Rating: 3 out of 5 sprinkles.

Aesthetic: The chocolate frosting has an interestingly light color compared to the frosting from Crumbs or Magnolia, which you'd think would connote more sugar in the recipe, and yet their chocolate frosting was the least sweet! The cupcake also unfortunately looked hideously deformed, as you can see in the picture above, although I liked that it looked like it had lots of icing before I tasted the icing and was underwhelmed. The cake was golden and the cupcake was even, but the icing was applied sloppily albeit generously. Overall Aesthetic Rating: 3 out of 5 sprinkles

Satisfaction Rating: The cupcake was just didn't do it for me. There was no pleasant chocolate taste like in Magnolia and Crumbs' chocolate frostings. There was nothing extra to redeem this cupcake either. Overall Satisfaction Rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles

Cupcake Ranking: 10 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)

Magnolia Bakery: Vanilla on Vanilla

I'm beginning my cupcake rankings with the classic Vanilla Cake on Vanilla Buttercream combination. The above cupcake is from Magnolia Bakery (magnoliabakery.com, $2.50 each), and their vanilla buttercream comes in a variety of colors. Classic white was not available, so I chose pink from amongst the vanilla frosting options, which also included blue and green.
Taste: The icing is very, very sweet and very, very buttery-- a bit cloying. The first taste of the icing was sweet and pleasant, but after a few more tastes I felt like I was eating Confectioner's Sugar straight from the box atop a stick of butter. While the icing was too sweet, the cake was not sweet enough, and even together they did not strike the right balance. The cake had not enough sugar and perhaps a touch too much baking soda. The unpleasantness of the cake was balanced somewhat when eating the cake and icing together, because together the icing was almost all I could taste. However, I experienced a slightly unpleasant aftertaste. After a few bites I had had more than enough and had no desire to finish it. Overall taste rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles.
Texture: The texture of the icing was pleasant-- soft and dense, but melted on my tongue. But, the cake texture was awful-- dry, crumbly, no moisture at all. Overall texture rating: 2 out of 5 sprinkles.
Aesthetic: The cupcake definitely looked better than it tasted-- tiny, cute, with a "classic homemade" aesthetic, light golden color, even height, and good cake-to-frosting ratio. The frosting was applied in a pretty swirl, and a smattering of rainbow sprinkles across the top added charm. However, the pink color on vanilla icing is in my opinion misleading, as in baked goods color often connotes flavor, and adding color dye to the icing might account for the slight aftertaste I experienced. Overall aesthetic ranking: 3 out of 5 sprinkles.
Satisfaction: Overall, I was unsatisfied with the cupcake, and have no desire to eat a vanilla on vanilla cupcake from Magnolia again. I was very glad I had more cupcakes available since this one was so unsatisfying! Overall satisfaction ranking: 1 out of 5 sprinkles.

Cupcake Ranking: 8 Sprinkles (out of 20 possible)